Bad Driver or Being Driven?

Posted by Sandy in Blog, Coaching You | 0 comments

I just had the strangest moment while driving. I saw a car tailgating a van as it turned onto a main road. My first reaction was, "Bad driver!" because driving that close scares me, but that thought was suddenly and unexpectedly replaced with a STRENGTH. Given that the car kept the exact same distance from the van during the entire turn and for a short while after, it struck me that the car's driver really wanted to be in front of the van, so staying behind at all, especially in such a controlled way, actually showed restraint! Weird new thought.

Just to be clear, in seeing restraint, I am in no way justifying or condoning tailgating. I will never like it, but for me this thought shed new light on why great people with otherwise good judgment might tailgate - they are simply getting ahead of themselves.

When a vehicle blocks your way, and what you want is a clear road, your natural mechanism for creation kicks in. Wanting is the source of all we create in our physical reality. In fact, wanting is our only true motivation. Too esoteric? Try this:

Have you ever seen a child's face light up at the thought of playing a game with a friend, walk over to that friend, talk for a minute, then start playing? That is exactly how we translate thoughts into things and create real world experiences for ourselves. We have a thought; we envision an action, product or goal; we want it; we takes steps to make it happen, and... voilà, we create it in physical form.

These steps are so natural for us, we don't even know we are doing them. To us it just feels like taking action. The mechanism behind that action remains invisible unless you look for it.

Why look for it?

When you understand why you do what you do, you can be more effective when you want to change your actions. Plus recognizing the want or wish behind an action can help you find hidden STRENGTHs in yourself and others.

For example, in the case of tailgating, what the driver wants is a clear road. That's a love of freedom! Knowing that wanting a clear road is driving the show (or in this case the car), and recognizing how powerful the inner drive to create what we want is, it's easy to see an action like tailgating as simply the driver getting ahead of him/herself. It occurs when you envision something you want, like a clear road, so clearly that you unconsciously start to act like you are already there. Another example is when you catch yourself speeding and realize you are totally focused on where you want to be, not where you are.

Now, of course, some tailgating is done on purpose as an expression of anger and/or the desire to control another driver's actions, but the kind I'm talking about is the unconscious kind where the driver is virtually ahead of him/herself, envisioning the freedom of a clear road. In this state of mind, the fact that a car's driver can remain conscious enough to stay behind a van at all is a clear demonstration of restraint. And to take it a step further, the ability to stay a specific distance behind that van while it is moving requires...yep, there it is: exceptional judgment. As expected, given the wants of the driver I saw, within moments of completing the turn, he pulled around the van and drove ahead. Clear road achieved.

If you are still reading this, then the natural mechanism for creation and the silent power wanting gives you is probably of interest to you. Now take the next step and imagine what bringing it into your consciousness could do for your ability to create the life you want. We have. That's why our Language of Listening® for YOU class focuses on clarifying what you like and want before going on to tackle the shoulds and shouldn'ts that stand in your way. We understand the power of your inner drive. If you are in the Austin area, I hope you will follow that drive to our next class starting April 8, 2013. You can register here.

Meanwhile, I'd love to hear your thoughts on your wants, whether fully conscious or just peeking out from behind your actions.