Money—What if it really could “just show up”?

Posted by Sandy in Blog, Coaching You | 2 comments

I've been looking at the concept of abundance lately and discovered I've been very sad that my heart's desire to have money just show up has not panned out.

Before you jump in to offer advice on how that's not realistic, let me say that I'm keenly aware of how fantasy-like that sounds. But I am also aware that something about it is right for me.

It has to be because it is something I have always wanted, and in keeping with what I teach—you are always right about what you want somehow—I decided to track down the source of that "want" to see where it came from. Why would I ever believe that "money should just show up"?

I was able to locate the source pretty quickly—seventh grade.

I grew up in the upper middle class part of a small mid-western town with friends whose parents were professionals. I feel very grateful for an upbringing where money was not an issue for any of us, but I was completely unaware of it at the time. Money was pretty much invisible to me...until Jr. High.

That's when all of the kids in town came together for the first time, and my little group of three close friends grew to four. Our new friend had a very different life and a keen awareness of money, or the lack of it, which I discovered one day after school when we were downtown together window shopping.

We were pointing at purses in a store window and talking about which one we might want, and our new friend burst into tears saying:

"Well, that's fine for you, but I can't afford any of them!"

I've always known that moment was important because I remember it so well. Snapshot memories like that tell you that in that moment you created some kind of belief about yourself or the world. I just could never figure out exactly what belief it was...until now!

It turns out that was the moment when money came into my awareness. And it arrived like this:

"Money doesn't just show up?!!"

Before that moment, I didn't even know that I believed it did. In truth I never gave it any thought, so in this moment when my belief that "money just shows up" appeared, it was instantly wrong, impossible, and a fantasy.

I remember feeling shocked, embarrassed, helpless, and trapped in an unfair world when it came to money—which is exactly how I've felt about money and wealth inequality ever since. That I had access to money and my friend didn't, hurt. It hurt her, it hurt me, and there was nothing I could do about it. Inside my new belief that money either shows up or it doesn't, it didn't occur to me to help her find a way to make money. Of course it didn't since my belief left me powerless.

The other belief that came out of it was that having money suddenly made me different, which felt threatening especially since at that age being the "same" was one of my key strategies for belonging. I know this because around the same time, I remember deliberately limiting my vocabulary so I would sound more like the other kids. Being the "same" had been my formula for connecting ever since I was little, and this was the first major difference I had encountered that I couldn't control—money.

Within that framework, it makes complete sense why abundance, especially in financial terms, would have remained off limits from then on.

The belief string: "wealth=different=not belonging," made wanting money the same as wanting not to belong, and I would never have wanted that! I've done a lot of transformational work over the years and have broken that belief string apart so being different no longer threatens my sense of belonging and connection. But looking back and putting it all together, now I can see exactly why I'd want "money to just show up" and how it came to appear impossible like a fantasy:

When I was young, I WAS right! Throughout my first 12 years, money did just show up.

I knew my dad worked, but I didn't really know what he did. He left in the morning, came home for dinner, and money just showed up. Money showing up was normal during my formative years, and like all realities, it was just how it was. Like water to fish, it was just always there and completely invisible.

After seventh grade, I related to all of the money in my life the same way—like fantasy income that just showed up, whether I earned it directly or not.

Especially since completing grad school, I've pretty much always done what I loved whether I was paid for it or not, so money still felt unrelated to effort; it either showed up or it didn't, and I felt lucky when it did. More proof that creating wealth was beyond my control. That fits with being passion-driven, not money-driven, which is how I've always seen myself.

And it also fits with this kind of contradiction I've lived with. It feels like somehow I've never really understood where money comes from, but at the same time I understand business and marketing really well. Not being money-driven, I just never wanted to do the things I'd need to do to create wealth that way. That would be doing things I didn't love which would kill my passion.

I'm a hard worker for sure, but especially with Language of Listening®, I've always preferred to focus my time and energy on content development, not marketing or sales. Why would I because, inside my belief where "wealth=different=not belonging," that would've been deliberately creating wealth which to me meant not belonging?

Surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly since what we want guides our actions whether we are aware of it or not, my preferences have actually led me down the path of creating money that "just shows up"—passive income via royalties.

Until now I couldn't see it, but I've already set up several passive income streams with the books I've authored and other things I've done. With my fantasy belief in place, even though I knew I'd done the work that ultimately produced the royalty checks, every time I got one, it still felt like magic—fantasy money just showing up!

That's because beliefs, not facts, determine your experience of events.

But now that I've had this breakthrough and moved "money just showing up" back into the world of real and possible, I can see that I actually did that! I created that passive income, which means I can actually create more on purpose—money just showing up the way I like it!

That means I'm no longer powerless when it comes to creating money and can continue do what I love with that goal in mind! Instead of doing what I love OR making money, I can now do BOTH. Not having to give up one thing you want for another is the secret to stepping into abundance.