blog
“Not fair!” Could Your Child Be Right?
It happened in less than five minutes. 10 YO David went from screaming, “Not fair!” when he thought he was losing, to accepting loss graciously. How? I was helping a mom with a group of 3rd-5th graders. They had just finished a craft and were bouncing off the walls with pent-up energy but had to stay inside. The mom suggested they play “Hot Potato” with a little stuffed bear. I sat with them in their wiggly, noisy circle on the floor as she explained the rules: “When the music starts, toss the bear to the person on your left, and...
read moreTrouble at Preschool
How do you react when your child tells you they did something that they know you won't like and just looks at you? If you brace yourself for a show-down, or start correcting or lecturing, that's a reaction to a judgment. The judgment might be something like "rebellious" or maybe even "stubborn," if you know your child knew you wouldn't like what they did, but did it anyway. How can you stop judging and get on your child's side instead? One of our readers, Krystalle of Austin, TX, used the powerful tool of WAITING to give herself the chance...
read moreSibling Fights – Empowering Kids with Mediation
How can you be on both your children's sides when siblings start fighting? Zuzana Mackova, parent coach and graduate of our Coaches Training program, shows you how. Instead of jumping in to solve her sons' fight, she WAITED, used SAY WHAT YOU SEE®, then turned the problem-solving over to them in an empowering mediation. Their solution for sharing surprised her! Loud Voices Standing in the kitchen of my mother's house washing dishes, I suddenly heard loud voices. I listened and waited...I always wait. Loud voices can mean excitement during...
read moreIndependent or Alone?
I used to be embarrassed about receiving help until I discovered the reason why. In a previous post, Help Is All Around, I talked about my embarrassment over receiving EMS services for a false-alarm. My embarrassment made total sense when I uncovered a belief that was telling me: "being helped = being saved = incompetent." Incompetent was definitely not OK with me! That belief evaporated very quickly after writing that post simply by using SAY WHAT YOU SEE® with myself for some intense self-coaching: "You think being helped means you are...
read moreBoundaries, Family Rules, & Strong-Willed Children… Oh My!
Annoyed, angry, surrounded by chaos? Rachel Norman of A Mother Far from Home and I recorded an in-depth call on boundaries while she was training to become an Authorized Language of Listening® Coach. We cover it all in the video in Rachel's post, reprinted here from her blog with permission. Recently we moved into a new house (to us). About a week or two into living there I found myself confused. I seemed more angry than normal. The kids seemed more “naughty” than normal. Everything seemed more chaotic. It only took another...
read moreTrying to Stop a Temper Tantrum? 7 Things You Might Be Missing
Language of Listening® Coach, Lauren Tamm, outlines seven things you might be missing if you are trying to stop a temper tantrum. Reprinted from her blog with permission. My daughter’s had a heck of a week when it comes to temper tantrums. It all culminated into one massive meltdown last night, when she was so inconsolable that she cried herself to sleep, stark-naked. But before I share how and why that particular meltdown happened, there’s something more I should explain about this week. My daughter had Fifth’s Disease, which is...
read moreThe Running Leap—Not Just for Kids
Instead of seeing your life as one step forward, two steps back, and feeling frustrated most of the time, what if you knew the two steps back were also moving you forward? That's how a running leap works — you have to back up a few steps in order to succeed with the leap. Knowing that gives you a powerful tool — a new way to see and manage the actions you take after you hit what feels like a wall. When you watch for it, you will see the Running Leap pattern in all kinds of challenging situations. You can recognize it by noticing what you...
read moreThe Running Leap
Have you ever seen a child jump over a stream? They don't usually walk up to the stream, stop, and try to jump from there. They walk up, stop, and then back up far enough to get a running start. Backing up enables them to take a running leap and successfully clear the stream without falling in and getting wet. In that situation, you would never mistake a child backing up to take a running leap as backing away. No parent would stop them and say, "Get back up there, and try again!" It's obvious that they're backing up to get what they need to...
read moreFostering Resiliency after a Soul-Crushing Event
Disappointments can be hard to handle, especially if they are your child's. It's even harder if you have the automatic urge to protect him or her from disappointment and make things all better. Here is a masterful and touching example written by Rachel Macy Stafford of what happens when you use Language of Listening® coaching skills to follow the child's lead instead. I didn’t know my daughter had her heart set on earning a specific recognition until several days after the program. She described how it felt to sit there as they called...
read moreBig Sister Tattling
Language of Listening® is a different way of speaking and thinking. It's a coaching language that takes you out of the role of managing your children's behavior, and puts you on their side as their life coach—letting them solve their own problems and helping them see their hidden STRENGTHs, so they can manage their own behavior. Here's a Q&A dialog I had with a mom (8-mo twins, 3 YO, 5 YO) who just read SAY WHAT YOU SEE® for the first time and was feeling a bit overwhelmed. It might hold some answers for you, too. QUESTION...
read moreSay What You See® Book
Mobile Video Classes
Talk to a Coach
Proud Mama Ad
