Posts Tagged "argument"

Fight-Flight-Freeze: A Natural Ladder from Anxiety to Freedom

Fight-Flight-Freeze: A Natural Ladder from Anxiety to Freedom

Our fight-flight-freeze response is much maligned. An article in Psychology Today says this "survival-oriented acute stress response" offers three options that amount to: battle, escaping, or becoming paralyzed and "numbing out." All three have negative connotations in our culture; and since none rely on reason, no wonder we see this fight-flight-freeze response as a primitive piece of mental...

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“Mommy, why are you crying?”

“Mommy, why are you crying?”

When it comes to expressing emotions in front of your child, how much is too much? Recently, a parent asked about expressing strong emotions like sadness or anger. She's going through a rough time in her life, and was worried that she was crying in front of her child too often. She is also arguing with her husband a lot, and she wondered if I thought parents should limit those kinds of...

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I want it! You’re not my friend anymore!

I want it! You’re not my friend anymore!

Do these situations sound familiar? At a recent in-service training for preschool teachers, I was asked a few questions about children fighting. These could come up at home or at school, so I wanted to share them with you. Although these sample responses were designed for younger children, they actually apply to older children as well. That's no surprise when you remember that the Language of...

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Win-Lose To Win-Win

Win-Lose To Win-Win

When you have a disagreement with your spouse, partner or friend over something you want, does it feel like one of you has to win and the other has to lose? Given that your relationship is an important part of these scenarios, even a win-lose is a lose-lose because it puts a strain on your relationship. It's most apparent in a big disagreement, but the little ones add up, too. So how do you make...

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SAY WHAT YOU SEE® to Yourself First

SAY WHAT YOU SEE® to Yourself First

In her blog article "Applying 'Say What You See' to Adult Relationships" Monica Cravotta related my work to that of her friend and coach Chris Douglas. Monica came to the conclusion that "in a very basic way, we’re no different than our little ones in feeling upset when our basic emotional needs are unmet." So true! In trying to bring understanding to heated moments in her adult relationships...

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