Posts Tagged "power"

I want it NOW!

I want it NOW!

"I want it NOW!!!" This demand was a clear signal to Michelle Amriel, one of our instructors in training, to go beyond validation to meet her child's need for power. Here's her story: I had the opportunity to use Language of Listening this afternoon, and it worked like a charm :))   I asked my 5-year-old if he was hungry for dinner. He said, "Yes!" I said, "I'll start making it then." He...

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Positive Guidance for Negative Self-Talk

Positive Guidance for Negative Self-Talk

I smiled when I received this glowing comment in my email from a Montessori guide and mom of 2: "Language of Listening" has been without a doubt THE MOST POWERFUL approach to working with children that I have ever encountered in my 9 years as a Montessori guide (and now 4 years as a parent). I could tell you so many stories about how it's helped me guide my very spirited 4-year old through the...

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If Kids Fighting Makes You Mad

If Kids Fighting Makes You Mad

How can you open doors to connection instead of slamming them shut (literally) when kids fighting sets you off? I was invited to answer this question for a reader of Hands Free Mama blog. Our Q&A is reprinted below with permission, edited for brevity and clarity.   QUESTION: Do you have any suggestions on how to handle sibling fighting?   I am a Type A, list-following,...

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Stop Reacting, Start Exaggerating

Stop Reacting, Start Exaggerating

"I know what I should do, but I often react, instead of responding with understanding." For every parent who feels wrong for reacting in the moment, I was right there with you when my kids were little. I'd read all the books, and knew what to do, but there were times when I just couldn't do it. The thing that made a difference for me was realizing that there had to be something right about my...

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Being Nice or Not?

Being Nice or Not?

Telling children, "Be nice!" can have unexpected consequences. You probably know that the non-specific command, "Be nice!" is not particularly helpful for children. But worse than that, it can result in the opposite behavior. Here's how: When "Be nice!" is spoken in a corrective or threatening tone, as in "Be nice [or else]!" kids hear it as, "Do whatever it takes to keep the peace." Without...

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