Posts Tagged "power"
I want it NOW!
"I want it NOW!!!" This demand was a clear signal to Michelle Amriel, one of our instructors in training, to go beyond validation to meet her child's need for power. Here's her story: I had the opportunity to use Language of Listening this afternoon, and it worked like a charm :)) I asked my 5-year-old if he was hungry for dinner. He said, "Yes!" I said, "I'll start making it then." He...
Read MorePositive Guidance for Negative Self-Talk
I smiled when I received this glowing comment in my email from a Montessori guide and mom of 2: "Language of Listening" has been without a doubt THE MOST POWERFUL approach to working with children that I have ever encountered in my 9 years as a Montessori guide (and now 4 years as a parent). I could tell you so many stories about how it's helped me guide my very spirited 4-year old through the...
Read MoreIf Kids Fighting Makes You Mad
How can you open doors to connection instead of slamming them shut (literally) when kids fighting sets you off? I was invited to answer this question for a reader of Hands Free Mama blog. Our Q&A is reprinted below with permission, edited for brevity and clarity. QUESTION: Do you have any suggestions on how to handle sibling fighting? I am a Type A, list-following,...
Read MoreStop Reacting, Start Exaggerating
"I know what I should do, but I often react, instead of responding with understanding." For every parent who feels wrong for reacting in the moment, I was right there with you when my kids were little. I'd read all the books, and knew what to do, but there were times when I just couldn't do it. The thing that made a difference for me was realizing that there had to be something right about my...
Read MoreBeing Nice or Not?
Telling children, "Be nice!" can have unexpected consequences. You probably know that the non-specific command, "Be nice!" is not particularly helpful for children. But worse than that, it can result in the opposite behavior. Here's how: When "Be nice!" is spoken in a corrective or threatening tone, as in "Be nice [or else]!" kids hear it as, "Do whatever it takes to keep the peace." Without...
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