Posts Tagged "reaction"

Trouble at Preschool

Trouble at Preschool

How do you react when your child tells you they did something that they know you won't like and just looks at you? If you brace yourself for a show-down, or start correcting or lecturing, that's a reaction to a judgment. The judgment might be something like "rebellious" or maybe even "stubborn," if you know your child knew you wouldn't like what they did, but did it anyway. How can you stop...

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Stop Your Own Knee-Jerk Habits

Stop Your Own Knee-Jerk Habits

When your child does something that scares you, is your knee-jerk reaction a yell or even a swat? Even if you are firmly committed to a peaceful home and a great relationship with your child, if you were raised with yelling and spanking, they can be extremely hard reactions to overcome. Our simple coaching skills can help. In the grocery store this week I saw this play out with a dad...

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Hidden Cause of Your Reactions

Hidden Cause of Your Reactions

"You make me feel..." is not how it works. We are interrelated. Someone says something and you react, but the mechanism is misunderstood. There is a hidden middle step. We each have our own perceptions of the world, and though it seems that we react to what happens around us, our reactions actually come from our perceptions and interpretations instead.  For example, my grandmother hated...

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Safe, Not Scared

Safe, Not Scared

The world can be a dangerous place. It can be wonderful, too. Both are true. The key to raising children who love being in the world despite the danger is training. For a shining example, look up at night. The space station currently orbiting the globe is without doubt a dangerous place with countless hazards beyond human control. But the astronauts love being up there because they know how to...

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Stop Reacting, Start Exaggerating

Stop Reacting, Start Exaggerating

"I know what I should do, but I often react, instead of responding with understanding." For every parent who feels wrong for reacting in the moment, I was right there with you when my kids were little. I'd read all the books, and knew what to do, but there were times when I just couldn't do it. The thing that made a difference for me was realizing that there had to be something right about my...

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