Posts Tagged "validate"
Create Shopping Cooperation
What do you do when your child wants everything in the store? Instead of trying to reign in their wants, check your boundaries (physical, social or personal). It's OK to buy only what you can or want to buy, and validate the rest with wishes. An odd thing happens with wishes. When you explore the details of children's wishes—what they love about it, what they might imagine they could...
Read MoreHow To Help a Perfectionist Child
Saying, "That's OK. It doesn't have to be perfect," does not help a perfectionist child. I explain why in this Q&A with a mother of a 12-year-old perfectionist daughter, though the explanation applies to most ages. Question: My biggest issue is my precious 12-year-old girl. She is a delight with a heart of gold and a perfectionist – however that is her down fall. She takes what...
Read MorePart 2 – What’s Perfect About Perfectionism
How do you find the perfection in everything, even things you don't like? Here's how we did it in the previous post with "perfectionism," the kind you didn't like. In Part 1, you experienced: 1. Starting from where you are—believing "perfectionism" is a flaw 2. Looking at perfectionism objectively—discovering it's not what you thought, it's actually imperfectionism 3. Finding the...
Read MoreStop Reacting, Start Exaggerating
"I know what I should do, but I often react, instead of responding with understanding." For every parent who feels wrong for reacting in the moment, I was right there with you when my kids were little. I'd read all the books, and knew what to do, but there were times when I just couldn't do it. The thing that made a difference for me was realizing that there had to be something right about my...
Read MoreLust Buster
In most boundary situations with children, the simple SAY WHAT YOU SEE® phrase, "You want _____," is the best place to start. The power of validating what children want cannot be overestimated. When children know that it's OK to want what they want, they don't have to fight to prove it. You've probably heard children quickly escalate from "I want it," to "I need it," to tears and a tantrum,...
Read MoreSay What You See® Book
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