Posts Tagged "want"

What’s Behind Whining?

What’s Behind Whining?

What's behind whining? My answer, in a word, is powerlessness. If you think about it, children who are confident they can get what they want, ask; children who think asking won't work, whine.  They have to because by nature, children are driven to communicate what they want, whether they can have it or not. This is explained by the first premise of Language of Listening®: Everything children...

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How Things Really Work

How Things Really Work

"Do what you should, and things will work out." Does that sound familiar to you? When this belief statement came up in a private coaching session with a client I recognized it immediately because I was raised to believe it, too. "Do what you should, and things will work out," was touted as the basic formula for success and was a close relative of the mid-western work ethic of "hard...

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Drawing Out a Withdrawn Child

Drawing Out a Withdrawn Child

When a child has become withdrawn, lost touch with his wishes and is unable to access joy, what do you do? Use Language of Listening coaching skills and watch the magic unfold. In a 4th grade leadership class, the topic was how to make your wishes come true. The children were to list important wishes/unimportant wishes, then list visioning/planning strategies and sub-strategies. Step #1 was...

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Helping Parents Who Haven’t Asked

Helping Parents Who Haven’t Asked

"If you want to be part of this family, then you'd better..." Imagine you saw your neighbor using harsh criticism, public scoldings and coercive statements like that with her 9 YO adopted daughter to "make her behave." If you knew a better way to work with children and even had a book that could tell her not only how to create willing cooperation but how to do it in a way that would improve...

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3 Steps for Reconnecting with Your Mother

3 Steps for Reconnecting with Your Mother

Your relationship with your mother affects your entire life. If yours is challenging, now is the perfect time to transform it into one of love, respect and connection. When you do, it will transform your life. In a coaching conversation with a young woman about her highly reactive mother, I recommended three steps for transforming their relationship. She graciously gave her permission...

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