Posts by Betsy

Should I End Indecision, Or…?

Should I End Indecision, Or…?

I have always been indecisive. I like to joke that it’s because of my astrological sign:  Libra (the scales) which is all about weighing options. According to an astrology website, “Libra’s indecisiveness is caused by the fear that a wrong decision will…cause turmoil in their lives.” Sounds about right. Another classic case of my ambiguity is my name. My own mom...

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SAY WHAT YOU SEE® with Older Kids and Teens

SAY WHAT YOU SEE® with Older Kids and Teens

It’s actually not as different as you might think to SAY WHAT YOU SEE® (SWYS) with kids in upper elementary, middle school, high school and beyond. There is usually less of a focus on the details of what they are doing at any moment, and more on what they’re saying, feeling, and thinking about what they are doing. That means taking them at their word and being on the same...

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Easy Brain Hack: Reversing Guilt

Easy Brain Hack: Reversing Guilt

Yesterday morning, my mom and I were talking about the phrase “I should have known…”   It’s a family story, full of self-blame, passed down and shared between and within generations. The main problem with this phrase is that it implies that you’re somehow wrong for not knowing something. Think about that a minute. At any moment, you either know something or you...

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The Importance of Validation

The Importance of Validation

Validation by SAYing WHAT YOU SEE (SWYS) is one of the simplest and most effective coaching skills. This is true in any interpersonal situation, but especially with kids. I was at a restaurant recently where a large family had gathered for a birthday celebration.  It was the end of the meal, and a little girl (about 4) was running around the table and playing. Suddenly she tripped and fell...

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Redefining Judgment

Redefining Judgment

I consider myself a perfectionist. I take pride in the things I do, and I hold myself and all of my creations up to a pretty high standard. So it makes sense that I hate to be criticized. My sister, an artist, sees criticism as a way to improve. She puts it to good use and does not take it personally. I, on the other hand, abhor it. Case in point: any time I write something, like an essay for...

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