Independent or Alone?
I used to be embarrassed about receiving help until I discovered the reason why. In a previous post, Help Is All Around, I talked about my embarrassment over receiving EMS services for a false-alarm. My embarrassment made total sense when I uncovered a belief that was telling me: "being helped = being saved = incompetent." Incompetent was definitely not OK with me! That belief evaporated very...
Read MoreBoundaries, Family Rules, & Strong-Willed Children… Oh My!
Annoyed, angry, surrounded by chaos? Rachel Norman of A Mother Far from Home and I recorded an in-depth call on boundaries while she was training to become an Authorized Language of Listening® Coach. We cover it all in the video in Rachel's post, reprinted here from her blog with permission. Recently we moved into a new house (to us). About a week or two into living there I found...
Read MoreThe Running Leap—Not Just for Kids
Instead of seeing your life as one step forward, two steps back, and feeling frustrated most of the time, what if you knew the two steps back were also moving you forward? That's how a running leap works — you have to back up a few steps in order to succeed with the leap. Knowing that gives you a powerful tool — a new way to see and manage the actions you take after you hit what feels like...
Read MoreFostering Resiliency after a Soul-Crushing Event
Disappointments can be hard to handle, especially if they are your child's. It's even harder if you have the automatic urge to protect him or her from disappointment and make things all better. Here is a masterful and touching example written by Rachel Macy Stafford of what happens when you use Language of Listening® coaching skills to follow the child's lead instead. I didn’t know my...
Read MoreMotivation Formula—Part 2: When Kids Don’t Care About a Clean Room
Self-motivation is natural and automatic, unless you've been taught that it's "making yourself do something you don't want to do." In my previous post, Motivation Formula & How to Use It—Part I, I explained what self-motivation actually is and how it works. My simple formula for self-motivation is: Want + Possible = Action A reader tested this out and had a couple of questions...
Read MoreMotivation Formula & How to Use It – Part 1
When my daughter Betsy was in middle school, she told me through a flood of tears that she was sure she had no self-motivation. She couldn't make herself do things she didn't want to do. Yep, that's the message I'd inadvertently been sending: making yourself do things you don't want to do IS self-motivation. Of course, I was applying it to myself as well, and it led to a lot of anger and...
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