Motivation Formula—Part 2: When Kids Don’t Care About a Clean Room

Motivation Formula—Part 2: When Kids Don’t Care About a Clean Room

  Self-motivation is natural and automatic, unless you've been taught that it's "making yourself do something you don't want to do."  In my previous post, Motivation Formula & How to Use It—Part I, I explained what self-motivation actually is and how it works. My simple formula for self-motivation is: Want + Possible = Action  A reader tested this out and had a couple of questions...

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Motivation Formula & How to Use It

Motivation Formula & How to Use It

When my daughter Betsy was in middle school, she told me through a flood of tears that she was sure she had no self-motivation. She couldn't make herself do things she didn't want to do. Yep, that's the message I'd inadvertently been sending: making yourself do things you don't want to do IS self-motivation. Of course I was applying it to myself as well, and it led to a lot of anger and...

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The Perfect Response to “I want…”

The Perfect Response to “I want…”

"Being heard is more than a basic human need. It's the key to connecting with our inner greatness and unleashing our full potential."—Sandy Blackard You will often hear me say that what you like and what you love is who you are at any moment. What you want comes from there and determines the right level of challenge for your growth. What you want not only guides you on your path, but it is...

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Stubborn. Now what?

Stubborn. Now what?

Does stubbornness run in your family? If you are seeing it in your child, you might think they got it from you. Each time I am asked what to do about a stubborn child, my answer is the same: SAY WHAT YOU SEE®. Stubborn is one of those things that we are sure we "see," but is not really happening. However, it is what we are thinking. The descriptive nature of SAY WHAT YOU SEE gets you out of your...

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“I hate you. You’re Mean!”

“I hate you. You’re Mean!”

Do you dread hearing, "I hate you. You're Mean!" from your normally sweet child? Here's what's behind it and a reply to turn things around. What's Behind It Kids often say "I hate you. You're Mean!" to parents, grandparents, or other children in a boundary situation when they can't do or have something they want. Particularly if that phrase troubles you or you have made it a taboo, they say it...

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Dismantling Problems

Dismantling Problems

Not all problems are problems, unless you are an imperfectionist. Then all problems are equal, and each one "has to" be fixed. When I woke up staring at the dead bugs in my ceiling lamp, I suddenly realized that despite all the growth I've had around perfectionism, at first glance, I was still seeing problems everywhere I looked! Little ones and big ones that all needed to be solved—dead...

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