Posts by Sandy

Fight-Flight-Freeze: A Natural Ladder from Anxiety to Freedom?

Fight-Flight-Freeze: A Natural Ladder from Anxiety to Freedom?

Our fight-flight-freeze response is much maligned. An article in Psychology Today says this "survival-oriented acute stress response" offers three options that amount to: battle, escaping, or becoming paralyzed and "numbing out." All three have negative connotations in our culture; and since none rely on reason, no wonder we see this fight-flight-freeze response as a primitive piece of mental...

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Stop Knee-Jerk Habits

Stop Knee-Jerk Habits

When your child scares you, is your knee-jerk reaction a yell or even a swat? Even if you are firmly committed to a peaceful home and a great relationship with your child, if you were raised with yelling and spanking, they can be extremely hard reactions to overcome. Our simple coaching skills can help. In the grocery store this week I saw this play out with a dad and his toddler son....

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Alarmed by a Child’s Cries?

Alarmed by a Child’s Cries?

My first-born's cries actually scared me. Now I know why: Bringing an adult perspective to children's emotions is scary.  Janet Lansbury makes this point brilliantly in her post "I think I've Ruined My Child:" "Their tears, screams and tantrums can be alarming, maddening and guilt-inducing for parents if we make the common mistake of seeing from an adult perspective. Yes, when an adult...

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Do-Overs to the Rescue!

Do-Overs to the Rescue!

"It's not what you do that matters most. It's what you do AFTER what you do."—Dr. Garry Landreth Have you ever wished you could rebuild your relationship with your child after having said or done things you didn't like? You can! Here are 5 tips for rebuilding your connection and your relationship: 1. The first step is ALWAYS listening with your eyes and ears. This step helps you understand the...

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Two Sticks and a Do-Over

Two Sticks and a Do-Over

We were on our way to a shop. The ground was covered by fresh snow, and my two sons (4 yr and 18 mo) were scribbling pictures into snowdrifts with sticks they found under the old chestnut tree. They were laughing, running, having fun. Before we entered the shop, I asked boys to find a place to leave their sticks. Mike, the older one, placed his stick on the stone fence. George followed his...

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