Posts Tagged "blame"

Q & A: Contrary Child

Q & A: Contrary Child

One of our readers, Jab, asked a great question in a comment on "The Importance of Validation" about situations where SAYing WHAT YOU SEE doesn't seem to work. As often happens here at Language of Listening, what started as a quick response turned in to a full-blown blog post! Jab asked: "I’m not having much success with SWYS. I must be missing something about it. For example when my daughter...

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On the Verge of a Breakthrough

On the Verge of a Breakthrough

If you've read any of my blog posts, you know that I am a lover of words, languages, and all things communication. In general, I am very well spoken and able to communicate and express myself with clarity and ease. I love words and always find the perfect one for nearly every scenario, often supplying others with just the right word or words when they are fumbling to express themselves. But for...

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Easy Brain Hack: Reversing Guilt

Easy Brain Hack: Reversing Guilt

Yesterday morning, my mom and I were talking about the phrase "I should have known..." It's a family story, full of self-blame, passed down and shared between and within generations. The main problem with this phrase is that it implies that you're somehow wrong for not knowing something. Think about that a minute. At any moment, you either know something or you don't. Because it's in the past,...

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Bossy Stopping

Bossy Stopping

What's the one thing you can do to stop "BOSSY" and get cooperation at the same time? SAY WHAT YOU SEE. Commands like: Give the dog some water. Put your bike away. Get in the car now! Take out the trash. ...and a million others, tell children what to do and model "bossy" at the same time. Who needs to be told what to do, not just once but over and over again? Someone who doesn't know what to do...

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New Twist on Blame

New Twist on Blame

Kids know something that we don't. Blame is a valuable power-building tool. That's right. There's actually something good about blame: Blame is a natural power builder. One parent told me about her two young daughters jumping from couch to chair to couch in the living room laughing and yelling at each other, "It's your fault!" "No, it's your fault..."Another shared that her child repeatedly...

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