Posts Tagged "calm"

Parenting Anger: Is it me or them?

Parenting Anger: Is it me or them?

It had been a day filled with tantrums, power struggles, and testing, testing, testing. I felt like I was doing all the right things, listening to my kids’ feelings, validating their experience, and extending my patience well beyond what I should need to do. Yet, everything I did felt like the wrong thing. I cut the toast wrong. Hurried them out the door too quickly.  Buckled the car seat...

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No Friends Allowed!

No Friends Allowed!

When you try to SAY WHAT YOU SEE, and "it doesn't work," that phrase tells you that you are trying to manage your child's behavior instead of coaching them. Kids can tell the difference, and so can you by their resistance. Here's my coaching for Ali from the UK on how to flip a no-way-out situation for her 5 YO into fun. Her little cousin was coming over whether she wanted her to or...

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Melting Meltdowns with Connection

Melting Meltdowns with Connection

One small step can make a big difference! Here's how Rachel Duhon, Therapist at River City Psychological Services in Grand Rapids, MI, used SAY WHAT YOU SEE in a way that will melt your heart: As a parent, it has always been a top priority to have a loving, healthy relationship with my children. I thought that I was doing a great job as a parent in being consistent and available to my girls....

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If Kids Fighting Makes You Mad

If Kids Fighting Makes You Mad

How can you open doors to connection instead of slamming them shut (literally) when kids fighting sets you off? I was invited to answer this question for a reader of Hands Free Mama blog. Our Q&A is reprinted below with permission, edited for brevity and clarity.   QUESTION: Do you have any suggestions on how to handle sibling fighting?   I am a Type A, list-following,...

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Create Shopping Cooperation

Create Shopping Cooperation

What do you do when your child wants everything in the store? Instead of trying to reign in their wants, check your boundaries (physical, social or personal). It's OK to buy only what you can or want to buy, and validate the rest with wishes.  An odd thing happens with wishes. When you explore the details of children's wishes—what they love about it, what they might imagine they could...

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