Posts Tagged "chores"

Motivation Formula & How to Use It

Motivation Formula & How to Use It

When my daughter Betsy was in middle school, she told me through a flood of tears that she was sure she had no self-motivation. She couldn't make herself do things she didn't want to do. Yep, that's the message I'd inadvertently been sending: making yourself do things you don't want to do IS self-motivation. Of course I was applying it to myself as well, and it led to a lot of anger and...

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Bossy Stopping

Bossy Stopping

What's the one thing you can do to stop "BOSSY" and get cooperation at the same time? SAY WHAT YOU SEE. Commands like: Give the dog some water. Put your bike away. Get in the car now! Take out the trash. ...and a million others, tell children what to do and model "bossy" at the same time. Who needs to be told what to do, not just once but over and over again? Someone who doesn't know what to do...

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Unraveling Tension

Unraveling Tension

  What do you do when something just has to get done, and you and your child get all knotted up over it? Dr. Lawrence Cohen, author of Playful Parenting and co-author of The Art of Roughhousing, suggests this, reprinted from his newsletter with permission. His analogy of an actual "knot" helps you unravel the tension. The Knot of Tension   A Knot of Tension is a set of distressing...

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No More Lame Excuses

No More Lame Excuses

Here's a perfect example of the magic of SAYing WHAT YOU SEE and adding a CAN DO that a parent shared with me about her 8-year old son: SWYS: "I asked you to unload the dishwasher, and you're lying on the couch." Child:   "My legs are broken." SWYS:   "Hmm. Your legs are broken." CAN DO: "Must be some way you can empty the dishwasher with broken legs." Child:    "I can hop!" Much...

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Bedtime Motivation Q&A

Question: This happens occasionally, before bed especially. If we give our kids something to do like clean up their room, brush their teeth, etc., they go to do it, but then I think they get distracted or off focus and start playing with something else.   For example, our 7-year old son seems very focused on things like baseball cards to the point that he doesn’t respond when we speak, and...

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