Posts Tagged "control"

Fight-Flight-Freeze: A Natural Ladder from Anxiety to Freedom

Fight-Flight-Freeze: A Natural Ladder from Anxiety to Freedom

Our fight-flight-freeze response is much maligned. An article in Psychology Today says this "survival-oriented acute stress response" offers three options that amount to: battle, escaping, or becoming paralyzed and "numbing out." All three have negative connotations in our culture; and since none rely on reason, no wonder we see this fight-flight-freeze response as a primitive piece of mental...

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Parenting Anger: Is it me or them?

Parenting Anger: Is it me or them?

It had been a day filled with tantrums, power struggles, and testing, testing, testing. I felt like I was doing all the right things, listening to my kids’ feelings, validating their experience, and extending my patience well beyond what I should need to do. Yet, everything I did felt like the wrong thing. I cut the toast wrong. Hurried them out the door too quickly.  Buckled the car seat...

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No Friends Allowed!

No Friends Allowed!

When you try to SAY WHAT YOU SEE, and "it doesn't work," that phrase tells you that you are trying to manage your child's behavior instead of coaching them. Kids can tell the difference, and so can you by their resistance. Here's my coaching for Ali from the UK on how to flip a no-way-out situation for her 5 YO into fun. Her little cousin was coming over whether she wanted her to or...

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3 Steps for Reconnecting with Your Mother

3 Steps for Reconnecting with Your Mother

Your relationship with your mother affects your entire life. If yours is challenging, now is the perfect time to transform it into one of love, respect and connection. When you do, it will transform your life. In a coaching conversation with a young woman about her highly reactive mother, I recommended three steps for transforming their relationship. She graciously gave her permission...

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How do I get my child to stop name-calling?

How do I get my child to stop name-calling?

In response to our post, Teasing & Name-calling, Amerin (children 7, 9, 11) asked a question that may have come up for you, too. We are so glad she asked, because it's normal to hit growth points like this when you are committed to mastering Language of Listening® to create deeper connections and more supportive relationships with your children, and weren't raised that way...

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