Posts Tagged "criticism"
The Running Leap
Have you ever seen a child jump over a stream? They don’t usually walk up to the stream, stop, and try to jump from there. They walk up, stop, and then back up far enough to get a running start. Backing up enables them to take a running leap and successfully clear the stream without falling in and getting wet. In that situation, you would never mistake a child backing up to take a running...
Read MoreRemoving Judgment—A Simple Exercise
This really happened: SAY WHAT YOU SEE (SWYS): “You are biting my shirt.” (I didn’t like that.) CAN DO: “That’s not OK with me. Must be something else you can bite. Hmm. Here, you can bite this!” I offered the child the hem of his own shirt. He looked at me, grinned, then bit his own shirt. He walked around with his shirt in his mouth for a few minutes,...
Read MoreResponding to Accidents & Complaints
Coaching begins with listening for greatness. Here are two simple Language of Listening® coaching skills that can turn any challenging moment with a child or teen into a rewarding one. 1. Accidents: Validate the intention Your child’s greatness can be found in their intentions. When a child makes a mistake or accidentally damages or breaks something, recognizing the child’s true...
Read MoreHelping Parents Who Haven’t Asked
“If you want to be part of this family, then you’d better…” Imagine you saw your neighbor using harsh criticism, public scoldings and coercive statements like that with her 9 YO adopted daughter to “make her behave.” If you knew a better way to work with children and even had a book that could tell her not only how to create willing cooperation but how to...
Read More3 Steps for Reconnecting with Your Mother
Your relationship with your mother affects your entire life. If yours is challenging, now is the perfect time to transform it into one of love, respect and connection. When you do, it will transform your life. In a coaching conversation with a young woman about her highly reactive mother, I recommended three steps for transforming their relationship. She graciously gave her permission...
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