Posts Tagged "doing"
Dismantling Problems
Not all problems are problems, unless you are an imperfectionist. Then all problems are equal, and each one "has to" be fixed. When I woke up staring at the dead bugs in my ceiling lamp, I suddenly realized that despite all the growth I've had around perfectionism, at first glance, I was still seeing problems everywhere I looked! Little ones and big ones that all needed to be solved—dead...
Read MoreRemoving Judgment—A Simple Exercise
This really happened: SAY WHAT YOU SEE (SWYS): “You are biting my shirt.” (I didn’t like that.) CAN DO: “That’s not OK with me. Must be something else you can bite. Hmm. Here, you can bite this!” I offered the child the hem of his own shirt. He looked at me, grinned, then bit his own shirt. He walked around with his shirt in his mouth for a few minutes,...
Read MoreBeing Nice or Not?
Telling children, "Be nice!" can have unexpected consequences. You probably know that the non-specific command, "Be nice!" is not particularly helpful for children. But worse than that, it can result in the opposite behavior. Here's how: When "Be nice!" is spoken in a corrective or threatening tone, as in "Be nice [or else]!" kids hear it as, "Do whatever it takes to keep the peace." Without...
Read MoreShowing You Care vs Caring
How do you know someone cares? They remember your birthday, they call for no reason, they think about you, they take care of you, they put you first, they help you feel special...? While intellectually I knew the difference between caring and showing it, some part of me couldn't tell the two apart. How did I know? I felt guilty for forgetting a birthday or even a name, not calling friends and...
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