Posts Tagged "emotions"

“I’m gonna hit him”

“I’m gonna hit him”

My preschooler came out of her room and stomped once. I carried her back to bed. As I turned to leave, she called out: “When we were camping, C wanted to be alone, and I kept at him, and he hurt me. He hit me first. I hit him second. Next time we go camping, I'm going to hurt C.” “Then I'm afraid we can't go camping with C,” I said gently, hoping she would see the error in her ways (but...

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Hidden Cause of Your Reactions

Hidden Cause of Your Reactions

"You make me feel..." is not how it works. We are interrelated. Someone says something and you react, but the mechanism is misunderstood. There is a hidden middle step. We each have our own perceptions of the world, and though it seems that we react to what happens around us, our reactions actually come from our perceptions and interpretations instead.  For example, my grandmother hated...

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Do Thoughts Cause Feelings?

Do Thoughts Cause Feelings?

    "Wake" by Colleen Blackard (Ballpoint pen drawing)       My dear friend and colleague Dr. Theresa Kellam, a licensed psychologist, focuses on feelings in her therapy practice. Eva and I focus more on thoughts and beliefs in our coaching. Both produce life changing results. I remember Theresa once telling me that thoughts arose from emotions. I couldn't quite wrap my...

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SAY WHAT YOU SEE® to Yourself First

SAY WHAT YOU SEE® to Yourself First

In her blog article "Applying 'Say What You See' to Adult Relationships" Monica Cravotta related my work to that of her friend and coach Chris Douglas. Monica came to the conclusion that "in a very basic way, we’re no different than our little ones in feeling upset when our basic emotional needs are unmet." So true! In trying to bring understanding to heated moments in her adult relationships...

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