Posts Tagged "feelings"

“I’m gonna hit him”

“I’m gonna hit him”

My preschooler came out of her room and stomped once. I carried her back to bed. As I turned to leave, she called out: “When we were camping, C wanted to be alone, and I kept at him, and he hurt me. He hit me first. I hit him second. Next time we go camping, I'm going to hurt C.” “Then I'm afraid we can't go camping with C,” I said gently, hoping she would see the error in her ways (but...

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Hidden Cause of Your Reactions

Hidden Cause of Your Reactions

"You make me feel..." is not how it works. We are interrelated. Someone says something and you react, but the mechanism is misunderstood. There is a hidden middle step. We each have our own perceptions of the world, and though it seems that we react to what happens around us, our reactions actually come from our perceptions and interpretations instead.  For example, my grandmother hated...

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Melting Meltdowns with Connection

Melting Meltdowns with Connection

One small step can make a big difference! Here's how Rachel Duhon, Therapist at River City Psychological Services in Grand Rapids, MI, used SAY WHAT YOU SEE in a way that will melt your heart: As a parent, it has always been a top priority to have a loving, healthy relationship with my children. I thought that I was doing a great job as a parent in being consistent and available to my girls....

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3 Steps for Reconnecting with Your Mother

3 Steps for Reconnecting with Your Mother

Your relationship with your mother affects your entire life. If yours is challenging, now is the perfect time to transform it into one of love, respect and connection. When you do, it will transform your life. In a coaching conversation with a young woman about her highly reactive mother, I recommended three steps for transforming their relationship. She graciously gave her permission...

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Stop Reacting, Start Exaggerating

Stop Reacting, Start Exaggerating

"I know what I should do, but I often react, instead of responding with understanding." For every parent who feels wrong for reacting in the moment, I was right there with you when my kids were little. I'd read all the books, and knew what to do, but there were times when I just couldn't do it. The thing that made a difference for me was realizing that there had to be something right about my...

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