Posts Tagged "fight"
Trouble at Preschool
How do you react when your child tells you they did something that they know you won't like and just looks at you? If you brace yourself for a show-down, or start correcting or lecturing, that's a reaction to a judgment. The judgment might be something like "rebellious" or maybe even "stubborn," if you know your child knew you wouldn't like what they did, but did it anyway. How can you stop...
Read More“I’m gonna hit him”
My preschooler came out of her room and stomped once. I carried her back to bed. As I turned to leave, she called out: “When we were camping, C wanted to be alone, and I kept at him, and he hurt me. He hit me first. I hit him second. Next time we go camping, I'm going to hurt C.” “Then I'm afraid we can't go camping with C,” I said gently, hoping she would see the error in her ways (but...
Read MoreFight-Flight-Freeze: A Natural Ladder from Anxiety to Freedom
Our fight-flight-freeze response is much maligned. An article in Psychology Today says this "survival-oriented acute stress response" offers three options that amount to: battle, escaping, or becoming paralyzed and "numbing out." All three have negative connotations in our culture; and since none rely on reason, no wonder we see this fight-flight-freeze response as a primitive piece of mental...
Read MoreGetting Back on the Same Team
You know those days with your children when nothing you do or say seems to work, when no validation of their wants is enough, and every tiny thing that comes up turns into a huge drama? I do, and I can assure you it feels so frustrating! There are days I feel like nothing is enough to fill the enormous need for power my kids have, especially my older daughter. There are few things that trigger...
Read MoreIf Kids Fighting Makes You Mad
How can you open doors to connection instead of slamming them shut (literally) when kids fighting sets you off? I was invited to answer this question for a reader of Hands Free Mama blog. Our Q&A is reprinted below with permission, edited for brevity and clarity. QUESTION: Do you have any suggestions on how to handle sibling fighting? I am a Type A, list-following,...
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