Posts Tagged "validation"
Stop Reacting, Start Exaggerating
"I know what I should do, but I often react, instead of responding with understanding." For every parent who feels wrong for reacting in the moment, I was right there with you when my kids were little. I'd read all the books, and knew what to do, but there were times when I just couldn't do it. The thing that made a difference for me was realizing that there had to be something right about my...
Read MoreBeing Nice or Not?
Telling children, "Be nice!" can have unexpected consequences. You probably know that the non-specific command, "Be nice!" is not particularly helpful for children. But worse than that, it can result in the opposite behavior. Here's how: When "Be nice!" is spoken in a corrective or threatening tone, as in "Be nice [or else]!" kids hear it as, "Do whatever it takes to keep the peace." Without...
Read MoreLust Buster
In most boundary situations with children, the simple SAY WHAT YOU SEE® phrase, "You want _____," is the best place to start. The power of validating what children want cannot be overestimated. When children know that it's OK to want what they want, they don't have to fight to prove it. You've probably heard children quickly escalate from "I want it," to "I need it," to tears and a tantrum,...
Read MoreWhen “Can=Have To”
Whenever I'm nearing a big breakthrough, I can tell. As a belief that I don't like begins to show up in my life, my energy drops, I withdraw and feel depressed. That makes sense before a breakthrough because at the moment, the belief feels very, very true, which can make it very, very real, and in this case, very, very sad...because I was looking at giving up. Luckily, as a personal growth...
Read MoreOn-Time with Empowered Children
Would you like to be able to make sure things get done on time without rushing or over-managing your children? How about putting perfectionism aside and providing guidance without criticism or negative correction? Here are the 7 suggestions that I shared with readers of Rachel Macy Stafford's powerful Hands Free Mama blog at her request in the comments section of her post "The Manager In My...
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