Posts Tagged "wants"
From Criticism To Support
"If you needed to lose weight, what would be most motivating? You are getting chubby. I’m not buying you any more clothes until you lose weight. Or: Let’s take a walk after dinner. I’ll let you make the salad. I love you just the way you are, exactly as you are." —Rachel Macy Stafford That was how Rachel opened her viral blog post, "To Build (or Break) a...
Read MoreBeing Nice or Not?
Telling children, "Be nice!" can have unexpected consequences. You probably know that the non-specific command, "Be nice!" is not particularly helpful for children. But worse than that, it can result in the opposite behavior. Here's how: When "Be nice!" is spoken in a corrective or threatening tone, as in "Be nice [or else]!" kids hear it as, "Do whatever it takes to keep the peace." Without...
Read MoreLust Buster
In most boundary situations with children, the simple SAY WHAT YOU SEE® phrase, "You want _____," is the best place to start. The power of validating what children want cannot be overestimated. When children know that it's OK to want what they want, they don't have to fight to prove it. You've probably heard children quickly escalate from "I want it," to "I need it," to tears and a tantrum,...
Read MoreWhen “Can=Have To”
Whenever I'm nearing a big breakthrough, I can tell. As a belief that I don't like begins to show up in my life, my energy drops, I withdraw and feel depressed. That makes sense before a breakthrough because at the moment, the belief feels very, very true, which can make it very, very real, and in this case, very, very sad...because I was looking at giving up. Luckily, as a personal growth...
Read MoreBad Driver or Being Driven?
I just had the strangest moment while driving. I saw a car tailgating a van as it turned onto a main road. My first reaction was, "Bad driver!" because driving that close scares me, but that thought was suddenly and unexpectedly replaced with a STRENGTH. Given that the car kept the exact same distance from the van during the entire turn and for a short while after, it struck me that the car's...
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