Posts Tagged "you"

Where “Shoulds” Come From (and how to send them back)

Where “Shoulds” Come From (and how to send them back)

Are your "shoulds" really yours? When a "should" comes from you, you nod when you speak it, feel validated when you hear it, and are often willing to fight to defend it, as in, "I should be able to do what I love!" By contrast, "shoulds" that are not yours create feelings of pressure and self-doubt, as in "I should be doing more." So how do you pick up guilty "shoulds," how can you send them...

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The “Good Enough” Mirage

The “Good Enough” Mirage

Whether you had parents who pushed you or not, if parental approval was the grand prize for good behavior or success in your home growing up, you might be headed down the high pressure path in the way you manage yourself. Do you alternate between pushing yourself so hard you just want to scream and wishing you could stop the world and get off? This might explain why. A friend was talking to...

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SAY WHAT YOU SEE® to Yourself First

SAY WHAT YOU SEE® to Yourself First

In her blog article "Applying 'Say What You See' to Adult Relationships" Monica Cravotta related my work to that of her friend and coach Chris Douglas. Monica came to the conclusion that "in a very basic way, we’re no different than our little ones in feeling upset when our basic emotional needs are unmet." So true! In trying to bring understanding to heated moments in her adult relationships...

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