Rage Reversal—Getting Kids Heard

Rage Reversal—Getting Kids Heard

In an instant, his world flipped 180 degrees. My son transformed from serene and peaceful to boiling rage. My mouth collapsed to the concrete as I stood in the parking lot of my daughter’s preschool. His voice thundered. His eyes intensified. His face turned crimson red. On the outside I was fighting to stay calm, but on the inside I was terrified. His anger explosions seem to come out of the...

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Fight-Flight-Freeze: A Natural Ladder from Anxiety to Freedom

Fight-Flight-Freeze: A Natural Ladder from Anxiety to Freedom

Our fight-flight-freeze response is much maligned. An article in Psychology Today says this "survival-oriented acute stress response" offers three options that amount to: battle, escaping, or becoming paralyzed and "numbing out." All three have negative connotations in our culture; and since none rely on reason, no wonder we see this fight-flight-freeze response as a primitive piece of mental...

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Stop Your Own Knee-Jerk Habits

Stop Your Own Knee-Jerk Habits

When your child does something that scares you, is your knee-jerk reaction a yell or even a swat? Even if you are firmly committed to a peaceful home and a great relationship with your child, if you were raised with yelling and spanking, they can be extremely hard reactions to overcome. Our simple coaching skills can help. In the grocery store this week I saw this play out with a dad and...

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When your kid runs away from you—and it’s not funny

When your kid runs away from you—and it’s not funny

Guest post reprinted with permission by Tracy Cutchlow zerotofive.net. Q: One morning this week, we were on a walk and my toddler took off running down the sidewalk.   I was wearing his 3-week-old brother in a baby carrier, which limited my ability to chase him.  I called several times for him (with increasing intensity) to stop and wait for mamma. (Also tried saying "Red: stop," which...

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Alarmed by a Child’s Cries?

Alarmed by a Child’s Cries?

My first-born's cries actually scared me. Now I know why: Bringing an adult perspective to children's emotions is scary.  Janet Lansbury makes this point brilliantly in her post "I think I've Ruined My Child:" "Their tears, screams and tantrums can be alarming, maddening and guilt-inducing for parents if we make the common mistake of seeing from an adult perspective. Yes, when an adult...

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Do-Overs to the Rescue!

Do-Overs to the Rescue!

"It's not what you do that matters most. It's what you do AFTER what you do."—Dr. Garry Landreth Have you ever wished you could rebuild your relationship with your child after having said or done things you didn't like? You can! Here are 5 tips for rebuilding your connection and your relationship: 1. The first step is ALWAYS listening with your eyes and ears. This step helps you understand the...

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