Seeing Kids With “New Eyes”

Seeing Kids With “New Eyes”

A first-grader gets overwrought at a school party and starts to have a melt-down. Instead of telling her to settle down, the teacher says, "Seems like you've had enough. If you'd like, you can hide under the table with me for a little while." According to the parent who shared this with me, it only took a couple of minutes of hiding before the child was ready to rejoin the class.

Don't you just love that? That's Language of Listening in action. SAYing WHAT YOU SEE helps you see kids' needs instead of reacting to their behavior. It's like seeing with "new eyes" that make it easy to respond with love and understanding instead of force. Here's another example I heard where "new eyes" could've made a big difference for a mom and daughter out shopping:

Old Eyes - A mother plans a special fun shopping trip with her teen. The shopping goes well until the teen gets a call from a friend and wants to go see her friend instead. Mom feels slighted and stands her ground about finishing their shopping trip, but now she has to put up with her teen's whining as she drags her from store to store.


New Eyes - When the teen asks if she can go meet her friend, Mom could say, "You are so excited to see your friend. You always have such fun together. Must be some way you can do that. Let me see. It's hard for me to set aside time for us to shop together, and we are here now. Hmmm. If we hurry we can get everything done, and I'll be able to drop you off in an hour."

Can you feel the difference? With Mom on her side she could help get the shopping done in record time and keep it fun for them both. The more you SAY WHAT YOU SEE, the more examples you see of struggles that could easily be avoided. What examples have you seen lately that either were avoided with a little love and understanding, or could have been?

1 Comment

  1. An excellent post. I liked it immensely.

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