My 10-year-old daughter is in the Kumon math program, and we just found out she has been cheating. She was trusted with the answer book and took advantage of it.
How do I punish her for it?
My answer:
Here’s a new way to look at it.
Cheating, like all behaviors, is actually driven by healthy needs. When you step back and look at what this action is telling you, you can respond differently.
Your surprise at her cheating tells me you know she is an honest child. That she hid it from you tells me that honesty is important to her, too. She has already learned that value from you, so pat yourself on the back!
Understanding is actually what is needed to keep her on track. So ask yourself:
“What would drive an honest child to cheat?”
Pressure to do better than she thinks she could on her own? Not enough time for friends or other things that are important to her?
Whatever it is, understanding her motivation will allow you to work with her to help her find a way to help her to meet her needs in a way you both feel good about, excel at math, and continue to be the honest kid she already is.
WIN-WIN.
And best of all, you will be changing this challenging moment into a rewarding one by building trust and strengthening your relationship with your daughter.
1 thought on “Q&A: Cheating Solution”
Wonderful response and ideas! Both my twins went to Kumon and had the pressures of a college prep private school. The cheating probably always had a lure but I’m not sure. I’ll ask them now 🙂
Comments are closed.