SWYS Explained

SWYS Explained

I've spoken to the wonderful families at South Austin API a number of times about my award-winning book SAY WHAT YOU SEE. As attachment parents, their commitment to connection is clear. I bring the message that emotional connection depends on much more than proximity. Over the babble and cry of their toddlers and infants, I show them how - often with a child in my arms.

What do you do when you are driving and your toddler's toy falls out of reach in the back seat? (See interview Part I)

What do you do when you need to change your baby’s diaper and your five-year old wants you to play a game, gets upset, starts pulling diapers from the diaper bag and throws them around? (See interview Part II)

What about the more trying times when you slip into "tornado parenting" and need a way to prevent doing damage? (See interview Part III)

Find the answer to these questions and more as Sonya Feher, leader of the South Austin API interviews me at mamaTRUE.com. You can follow Sonya on Twitter @mamaTRUE.


  1. Julia Kurskaya |

    Great interview, Sandy! I was looking for more information about how the 3 basic needs show up and I found it here! For instance, I didn’t realise that whining was a need for power showing up, I thought it was something more like a need for connection. Now I have something to think about. Thank you again!

  2. Julia,

    So glad you read the interviews. Sonya is a great supporter and friend of Language of Listening.

    You were right about the need for connection being part of the need behind whining. Often it’s all three (experience, connection, and power) when the child wants something she thinks she can’t have. But as you know, a hug by itself won’t be enough. Validating the “want” so the child knows it’s OK to want that thing and ask for it, followed by a CAN DO when the child’s hope is restored, will reverse whining.

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