Posts Tagged "game"

Stop Reacting, Start Exaggerating

Stop Reacting, Start Exaggerating

"I know what I should do, but I often react, instead of responding with understanding." For every parent who feels wrong for reacting in the moment, I was right there with you when my kids were little. I'd read all the books, and knew what to do, but there were times when I just couldn't do it. The thing that made a difference for me was realizing that there had to be something right about my...

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Q & A: Contrary Child

Q & A: Contrary Child

One of our readers, Jab, asked a great question in a comment on "The Importance of Validation" about situations where SAYing WHAT YOU SEE doesn't seem to work. As often happens here at Language of Listening, what started as a quick response turned in to a full-blown blog post! Jab asked: "I’m not having much success with SWYS. I must be missing something about it. For example when my daughter...

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Undoing Harsh Words

Undoing Harsh Words

For a number of years, I assisted Rachel Macy Stafford with replies to readers' comments on her powerful HandsFreeMama blog. Rachel's posts are deeply moving and motivational accounts of real-life moments with her daughters and evoke an outpouring of emotional responses like this one from the mother of a 4-year-old who was struggling to find her patience. This reader's comment and my reply are...

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“My Kids Ignore Me”

“My Kids Ignore Me”

Two weeks ago Brenda joined our Playtime Class upset that her kids ignored her. Individually, they were easy; all three together drove her crazy with their chasing and fighting. She'd been trying to use How To Talk So Kids Will Listen... (another great program) for a couple of years, but nothing worked for the wildest moments. After learning how to SAY WHAT YOU SEE and add CAN DOs, she shared...

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Bedtime Brilliance

Bedtime Brilliance

The seeds of listening were planted long ago. My daughter Betsy at age 23, and the children she worked with reaped the rewards. For example, Betsy was babysitting one weekend for three children: 5-year-old Adele, 3-year-old Sam and 18-month-old Jimmy (names are changed). When bedtime came around, they all had separate rooms, so with Jimmy on her hip, she got Adele settled first. Sam was...

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