Posts Tagged "needs"
Big Reactions To Cancellations
The world is, collectively, going through a very unusual time right now. People all over the world are trying to avoid exposure to a virus that we still don't understand completely. Schools and offices are closing, social gatherings are being cancelled, and everyone is being asked to work or stay at home. Along with all of these disruptions come lots of feelings: fear for the safety of yourself...
Read MoreBedtime—Kicking to Stay Awake
Question: My son basically only hits /pinches/ kicks to avoid going to sleep. Any advice on how to facilitate this behavior without facilitating the procrastination? (For instance, if I redirect him to kick the bed instead of me, then he'll kick the bed for literally half an hour or more if I let him, no matter how tired he is).—Mom (child age 2), Austin, TX Answer: Thank you for your...
Read MoreFight-Flight-Freeze: A Natural Ladder from Anxiety to Freedom
Our fight-flight-freeze response is much maligned. An article in Psychology Today says this "survival-oriented acute stress response" offers three options that amount to: battle, escaping, or becoming paralyzed and "numbing out." All three have negative connotations in our culture; and since none rely on reason, no wonder we see this fight-flight-freeze response as a primitive piece of mental...
Read MoreStop Reacting, Start Exaggerating
"I know what I should do, but I often react, instead of responding with understanding." For every parent who feels wrong for reacting in the moment, I was right there with you when my kids were little. I'd read all the books, and knew what to do, but there were times when I just couldn't do it. The thing that made a difference for me was realizing that there had to be something right about my...
Read MoreBeing Nice or Not?
Telling children, "Be nice!" can have unexpected consequences. You probably know that the non-specific command, "Be nice!" is not particularly helpful for children. But worse than that, it can result in the opposite behavior. Here's how: When "Be nice!" is spoken in a corrective or threatening tone, as in "Be nice [or else]!" kids hear it as, "Do whatever it takes to keep the peace." Without...
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