Posts Tagged "needs"

“Mommy, why are you crying?”

“Mommy, why are you crying?”

When it comes to expressing emotions in front of your child, how much is too much? Recently, a parent asked about expressing strong emotions like sadness or anger. She's going through a rough time in her life, and was worried that she was crying in front of her child too often. She is also arguing with her husband a lot, and she wondered if I thought parents should limit those kinds of...

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I want it! You’re not my friend anymore!

I want it! You’re not my friend anymore!

Do these situations sound familiar? At a recent in-service training for preschool teachers, I was asked a few questions about children fighting. These could come up at home or at school, so I wanted to share them with you. Although these sample responses were designed for younger children, they actually apply to older children as well. That's no surprise when you remember that the Language of...

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Tantrum Relief — Meeting the Three Basic Needs

Tantrum Relief — Meeting the Three Basic Needs

The difference between the Language of Listening® approach to dealing with tantrums and that of most other programs is basically this: in a tantrum, others try to calm children down; we facilitate tantrums in a way that allows children to calm themselves down. It all starts with the Three Basic Needs for Growth: experience, connection and power. Here's how to meet those needs to facilitate a...

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If you don’t like the answer, the question is wrong.

If you don’t like the answer, the question is wrong.

"Why would I do that?" When you question yourself about something you did, and you don't like the answer, the question is wrong. Do these answers sound familiar: "Because I was stupid," "Because I was selfish," Because I was irresponsible..."?  You probably learned answers like those when you were a child. You didn't like them, but you believed them because you thought you had to in order to...

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Seeing Kids With “New Eyes”

Seeing Kids With “New Eyes”

A first-grader gets overwrought at a school party and starts to have a melt-down. Instead of telling her to settle down, the teacher says, "Seems like you've had enough. If you'd like, you can hide under the table with me for a little while." According to the parent who shared this with me, it only took a couple of minutes of hiding before the child was ready to rejoin the class. Don't you just...

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