Posts Tagged "problem-solving"
“No! It’s mine!”—How to Respond When Other Parents Are Watching
The "it's mine" phase is difficult for most parents to handle, especially in front of other parents because many people still see it as selfish. Actually, it's simply natural and important for children to meet their need for power by controlling their things. Controlling things is a great way for them to do that, and way better than trying to control their parents, other kids, or grabbing other...
Read MoreDismantling Problems
Not all problems are problems, unless you are an imperfectionist. Then all problems are equal, and each one "has to" be fixed. When I woke up staring at the dead bugs in my ceiling lamp, I suddenly realized that despite all the growth I've had around perfectionism, at first glance, I was still seeing problems everywhere I looked! Little ones and big ones that all needed to be solved—dead...
Read MoreRage Reversal—Getting Kids Heard
In an instant, his world flipped 180 degrees. My son transformed from serene and peaceful to boiling rage. My mouth collapsed to the concrete as I stood in the parking lot of my daughter’s preschool. His voice thundered. His eyes intensified. His face turned crimson red. On the outside I was fighting to stay calm, but on the inside I was terrified. His anger explosions seem to come out of...
Read MoreNo Friends Allowed!
When you try to SAY WHAT YOU SEE, and "it doesn't work," that phrase tells you that you are trying to manage your child's behavior instead of coaching them. Kids can tell the difference, and so can you by their resistance. Here's my coaching for Ali from the UK on how to flip a no-way-out situation for her 5 YO into fun. Her little cousin was coming over whether she wanted her to or...
Read MoreIf Kids Fighting Makes You Mad
How can you open doors to connection instead of slamming them shut (literally) when kids fighting sets you off? I was invited to answer this question for a reader of Hands Free Mama blog. Our Q&A is reprinted below with permission, edited for brevity and clarity. QUESTION: Do you have any suggestions on how to handle sibling fighting? I am a Type A, list-following,...
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