Posts Tagged "toddler"

The Importance of Validation

The Importance of Validation

Validation by SAYing WHAT YOU SEE (SWYS) is one of the simplest and most effective coaching skills. This is true in any interpersonal situation, but especially with kids. I was at a restaurant recently where a large family had gathered for a birthday celebration.  It was the end of the meal, and a little girl (about 4) was running around the table and playing. Suddenly she tripped and fell...

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Bedtime Brilliance

Bedtime Brilliance

The seeds of listening were planted long ago. My daughter Betsy at age 23, and the children she worked with reaped the rewards. For example, Betsy was babysitting one weekend for three children: 5-year-old Adele, 3-year-old Sam and 18-month-old Jimmy (names are changed). When bedtime came around, they all had separate rooms, so with Jimmy on her hip, she got Adele settled first. Sam was...

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SWYS Explained

SWYS Explained

I've spoken to the wonderful families at South Austin API a number of times about my award-winning book SAY WHAT YOU SEE. As attachment parents, their commitment to connection is clear. I bring the message that emotional connection depends on much more than proximity. Over the babble and cry of their toddlers and infants, I show them how - often with a child in my arms. What do you do when you...

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True Self-Motivation

True Self-Motivation

When you hit the wall trying to get your child to do something he or she doesn't want to do, check your strategy. Are you trying to change what your child wants? "Of course you want to brush your teeth. You don't want them to fall out, do you?" To your credit, this strategy shows an awareness of what motivates people — wanting. Every parent knows that if only their children wanted to brush...

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“CAN DOs” Work For All Ages

“CAN DOs” Work For All Ages

You don’t have to psychoanalyze your child to offer CAN DOs. Just turn it over to the child with our all-purpose statement, "Hmm. Must be something you can do," and see what comes back. If all you get back is a blank stare, offer some CAN DOs of your own by asking yourself, “What else would work?”  For a young child breaking things out of curiosity, you might try: “You can build a block...

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