Posts Tagged "understanding"
How To Help a Perfectionist Child
![How To Help a Perfectionist Child](https://www.languageoflistening.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/ChildIntoColorWorld_square-37427_164x164.jpg)
Saying, “That’s OK. It doesn’t have to be perfect,” does not help a perfectionist child. I explain why in this Q&A with a mother of a 12-year-old perfectionist daughter, though the explanation applies to most ages. Question: My biggest issue is my precious 12-year-old girl. She is a delight with a heart of gold and a perfectionist – however that is her down...
Read MoreTaming Step-Parent Guilt
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Question from a guilt-ridden step-parent: I am seeking advice for myself that will hopefully help me to connect with my step-daughter. Long story short…my stepdaughter came to live with us when she was 6 years old she is now 14. Her biological mother is not part of her life. I see her as one of my own daughters, we do not say step-mom or step-daughter, (I have two other daughters 12...
Read MoreThe Importance of Validation
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Validation by SAYing WHAT YOU SEE (SWYS) is one of the simplest and most effective coaching skills. This is true in any interpersonal situation, but especially with kids. I was at a restaurant recently where a large family had gathered for a birthday celebration. It was the end of the meal, and a little girl (about 4) was running around the table and playing. Suddenly she tripped and fell...
Read MoreSeeing Kids With “New Eyes”
![Seeing Kids With “New Eyes”](https://www.languageoflistening.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Unhappy_girl-42562_164x164.jpg)
A first-grader gets overwrought at a school party and starts to have a melt-down. Instead of telling her to settle down, the teacher says, “Seems like you’ve had enough. If you’d like, you can hide under the table with me for a little while.” According to the parent who shared this with me, it only took a couple of minutes of hiding before the child was ready to rejoin the...
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