Posts Tagged "validate"
“I hate you. You’re mean!”

Do you dread hearing, "I hate you. You're mean!" from your normally sweet child? Here's what's behind it and a reply to turn things around. What's Behind It Kids often say "I hate you. You're mean!" to parents, grandparents, or other children in a boundary situation when they can't do or have something they want. Particularly if that phrase troubles you or you have made it a taboo, they say it to...
Read More“I’m gonna hit him”

My preschooler came out of her room and stomped once. I carried her back to bed. As I turned to leave, she called out: “When we were camping, C wanted to be alone, and I kept at him, and he hurt me. He hit me first. I hit him second. Next time we go camping, I'm going to hurt C.” “Then I'm afraid we can't go camping with C,” I said gently, hoping she would see the error in her ways (but...
Read MoreParenting Anger: Is it me or them?

It had been a day filled with tantrums, power struggles and testing, testing, testing. I felt like I was doing all the right things, listening to my kids’ feelings, validating their experience, and extending my patience well beyond what I should need to do. Yet, everything I did felt like the wrong thing. I cut the toast wrong. Hurried them out the door too quickly. Buckled the car seat...
Read MoreResponding to Accidents & Complaints

Coaching begins with listening for greatness. Here are two simple Language of Listening® coaching skills which can turn any challenging moment with a child or teen into a rewarding one. 1. Accidents: Validate the intention Your child's greatness can be found in their intentions. When a child makes a mistake or accidentally damages or breaks something, recognizing the child's true...
Read MorePositive Guidance for Negative Self-Talk

I smiled when I received this glowing comment in my email from a Montessori guide and mom of 2: "Language of Listening" has been without a doubt THE MOST POWERFUL approach to working with children that I have ever encountered in my 9 years as a Montessori guide (and now 4 years as a parent). I could tell you so many stories about how it's helped me guide my very spirited 4-year old through the...
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