Posts Tagged "validate"

“I hate you. You’re Mean!”

“I hate you. You’re Mean!”

Do you dread hearing, "I hate you. You're Mean!" from your normally sweet child? Here's what's behind it and a reply to turn things around. What's Behind It Kids often say "I hate you. You're Mean!" to parents, grandparents, or other children in a boundary situation when they can't do or have something they want. Particularly if that phrase troubles you or you have made it a taboo, they say it...

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“I’m gonna hit him”

“I’m gonna hit him”

My preschooler came out of her room and stomped once. I carried her back to bed. As I turned to leave, she called out: “When we were camping, C wanted to be alone, and I kept at him, and he hurt me. He hit me first. I hit him second. Next time we go camping, I'm going to hurt C.” “Then I'm afraid we can't go camping with C,” I said gently, hoping she would see the error in her ways (but...

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Parenting Anger: Is it me or them?

Parenting Anger: Is it me or them?

It had been a day filled with tantrums, power struggles and testing, testing, testing. I felt like I was doing all the right things, listening to my kids’ feelings, validating their experience, and extending my patience well beyond what I should need to do. Yet, everything I did felt like the wrong thing. I cut the toast wrong. Hurried them out the door too quickly.  Buckled the car seat...

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Responding to Accidents & Complaints

Responding to Accidents & Complaints

Coaching begins with listening for greatness. Here are two simple Language of Listening® coaching skills which can turn any challenging moment with a child or teen into a rewarding one. 1. Accidents: Validate the intention Your child's greatness can be found in their intentions. When a child makes a mistake or accidentally damages or breaks something, recognizing the child's true...

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Positive Guidance for Negative Self-Talk

Positive Guidance for Negative Self-Talk

I smiled when I received this glowing comment in my email from a Montessori guide and mom of 2: "Language of Listening" has been without a doubt THE MOST POWERFUL approach to working with children that I have ever encountered in my 9 years as a Montessori guide (and now 4 years as a parent). I could tell you so many stories about how it's helped me guide my very spirited 4-year old through the...

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