“You nearly hit her!”

“You nearly hit her!”

I practically jumped up and down with excitement when I received this story from a mother in Ireland:

One of my friend’s children (age 7) has the label put upon him that he is "not nice." Well I’ve been working hard on his strengths when we’re together to show him how nice he is! His face lights up and I receive endless hugs. I want him to see how "nice" he truly is.

He was racing his little car towards my 2-year-old daughter and just barely missed her. I knew I could see this scenario two ways. Fault-find and judge, "You nearly hit her!" but because of Language of Listening® I saw a strength! I said, "Wow, you just knew exactly how to keep her safe! You moved right out of the way just in the nick of time!" He was overjoyed saying, "Mum! Mum! I saved her just in the nick of time! I moved out of the way!" I’ve never seen him so delighted with himself.

He often makes a lot of demands throughout playtimes with other children. His mother worries endlessly about his ability to make friends. The other day he called me over to a park bench, "Hey! Come sit on this bus with me!" I immediately saw a strength! I said, "You really know how to include people in a game!"

I can’t be sure if I’m using the Language of Listening® method correctly, but I am sure that I am on the receiving end of hugs, and I get great satisfaction out of seeing his strengths and his ability to be a good friend and a "nice" person quite clearly. 

Here's what I told her:

Yes, yes, yes! You are using Language of Listening® not only correctly, but brilliantly! This is exactly how to find hidden STRENGTHs, and you saw the immediate difference it makes for children. Not only does it light up their little faces, it changes who they believe they are which shows up immediately in their actions.

Now that this boy knows he is nice and includes people (without even trying!), he can use those STRENGTHs on purpose to make friends and keep them. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

This is what Language of Listening® is about -- changing the world in one generation!

And the best part is that this mother learned how by watching our short, mobile-ready videos in our Basic Coaching Skills Course. Perfect for long-distance, self-paced learning. Check it out, and send us your success stories, too!

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